Just a Bit Unlikely
by whoson1st
Summary: The Doctor and Rose Tyler finally venture back to Earth after a recovery period, meeting up with an old friend while investigating Adipose Industries. But life never stays simple or easy long for our favorite intergalactic couple. Rewrite of season 4 with Donna Noble, 4th story in the Written in the Stars series.
1. Prologue

_**New story, yay! This is just a little prologue thingy, to cover the interregnum. This story starts six months after Voyage of the Damned-because, as interesting as going through their psychological recovery might be, I think it would get tedious before too long. I still might eventually write some one shots to take place during that time, but...at the moment, I'm just skipping ahead. I'll upload the first real chapter tonight or tomorrow, I promise.**_

_**OH OH ALSO...the COMPLETELY AWESOME cover for this story is designed by the glorious Erin, aka mistlewho on tumblr, who has an astonishing talent for graphics (who also is probably bored with me constantly fangirling over said talent).**_

_**Kay, Merry Christmas Eve!**_

* * *

It was six months before the Doctor and Rose returned to Earth. There were plenty of other planets to visit that didn't have so many ghosts or painful reminders. So they ran across the universe, trying to return to each other and recover from their separate ordeals.

That had been nearly as painful as the initial trauma at first. For months, they were waking up gasping from nightmares every time they fell asleep, trying desperately to get a handle on the grief and anger that would rise up again and threaten to tear them apart. Then there were the times when they couldn't quite manage to keep a situation they'd landed in from spiraling out of control, landing one or both of them in nasty situations, leaving them both terrified and screaming at each other to keep from sobbing. Then there were the times where the tears couldn't be stopped; Rose especially had been prone to bouts of depression and hopelessness, a side-effect of the long-endured psychological torture, leaving her shattered and sobbing in his arms. The Doctor, instead, had fallen back on old habits of simply shutting down and shutting out everything to cover how shaky and exposed he felt after having all his vulnerabilities used against him, leaving Rose to battle her way back to him, to remind him that he didn't have to be alone to be safe, and he didn't always have to be alright.

But in between battles, there had been them. Just them. And all the smiles, the jokes, the little touches and long kisses that had been the things they'd missed the most during their long separation. There were rare moments, cuddling together to watch a film, or laying in the dark of their bedroom before the nightmares hit, that it didn't hurt. And in those moments they could believe that they'd be alright. And, as time wore on, the nightmares slowly became less frequent, the fights less volatile, the moments of panic less debilitating, and those happy moments become longer and more common.

It still hurt…it would for a long time. A wound healed still leaves a scar that aches, a reminder of the past. But the Doctor and Rose Tyler were always stronger than the traces of damage. After six months, they were recognizable again. They might have looked a little older, there might be an extra shadow that would pass over their eyes ever so often, but in all the ways that mattered, they were themselves again.

And it was a good thing, too…because it was just in time to meet an old friend, and start an adventure neither one could have expected.


	2. Adipose Industries

_**I really did plan on having this up something like eight hours ago, but the site wouldn't let me on until now. So I'm sorry, but it's not my fault, I swear. Also, I have no idea what kind of schedule I'm going to have for updates...I'm not a crazy amount ahead like I usually am, so...patience is a virtue. I'm off school right now, though, so I should be able to get some real writing in, hopefully.**_

_**And no, I haven't seen the Christmas special yet. I have no opinion right now. I'm sure that will change drastically by the next chapter.**_

_**Many thanks to lotsofthinkythoughts on tumblr for helping me out of a drastic case of "how do you words?" when it came to the beginning of this...I forget what her name is on here, but she's rad.**_

_**Anyway, Merry Christmas to all the readers who celebrate it! And thank you for all the reviews you guys left on the incredibly short prologue...best followers ever.**_

* * *

In the space between the future and the past, between all the yesterdays and tomorrows, between the could bes and the might have beens, there lies the Time Vortex. In this stream of dreams and possibilities, there sails a lonely TARDIS, the last of a great fleet from a lost planet. Inside, the last of the Time Lords and his mostly human wife discuss the abstract notions of time and space with a depth and thoughtfulness unknown to most species.

"What about this one? Says it'll make…Kor…gor…flibian's scales greener."

"Scam," the Doctor said from beneath the console, and Rose glanced down from the jump seat at the pinstriped legs sticking out. "Doesn't actually change anything. Interesting fact about the Cohrgoarrphlibbians—nice job with the pronunciation, by the way—is that they're all green, but a bright green is supposed to signify wealth and power…but that's only because those _with _wealth and power can afford to get their scales artificially tinted, thereby perpetuating their own hue-ist prejudices."

"Huh," Rose murmured, her eyes narrowing at the screen. "And that's why the fine print says 'results not typical; any perceived change in color is the direct result of delusions of grandeur', yeah?"

"Yep."

"What about this one?" Rose asked, changing the channel with a remote in her hand. "Says it removes moss from…ew…behind the ears…"

"I think you'll find that one's directed at the Forest of Cheem," the Doctor replied. "And it's real…although it has some rather nasty side effects."

"Like what?" she asked, glancing down at his legs curiously.

"Well…it has the tendency to…make the ears sort of…fall off," he explained, his legs shifting uncomfortably.

"Yeah, no harm trying it out then," she snorted.

"They're trees!" the Doctor protested. "Their ears grow back! And moss free!"

"Riiight," she said, drawing out the word as she changed the channel to another infomercial. "What about Flugelvarian hair tonic?"

"Scam," the Doctor said promptly. "Well, sort of. Rubbish with hair, but it is effective at removing fleas."

"I'll keep that in mind," she said with a laugh. "How about…oh, nevermind, this one's from Earth. I already know most of those are rubbish." She watched the infomercial for another minute anyway, tilting her head a little. "Adipose…the fat just walks away."

"Catchy slogan," the Doctor offered.

"Hang on…Doctor, you might wanna look at this," she said with a frown, standing to look closer at the monitor as the advert moved on to a diagram of the science involved with the diet pill. "This is…weird."

The Doctor slid out from under the console and got to his feet, looking over her shoulder at the screen and adjusting his specs.

"That…that shouldn't do that," he said slowly. "That's impossible."

"Someone should really look into that," she replied innocently, peeking up at him. He looked down at her, then at the screen, then down at her again as she started to smile, poking her tongue out between her teeth just a tiny bit.

"Alright, fine," he sighed. "Been a while since we've hit your little blue and green planet…it was due for some sort of disaster. Suppose Health and Safety could pay Adipose industries a little visit."

Rose made a happy squeak before wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing his cheek. She released him almost immediately, however, to scurry down the corridor to their bedroom.

"What're you doing now?" he called after her.

"If we're gonna be Health and Safety, I think I should probably look the part a _bit_ better than this," she said, gesturing down at her jeans and sweatshirt. "Won't be a minute."

oOoOo

Thirty minutes later, the Doctor was sitting in the jump seat, his legs kicked up on the console and crossed at the ankles and his hands interlaced behind his head as he leaned back and stared at the ceiling. She was never just a minute. Ever. But, for the moment, he was alright with that. He couldn't help feeling nervous about going back to Earth, which was…new, but not altogether surprising. While a weight loss company with dodgy science probably wouldn't lead to the _most _dire of circumstances, he was still uneasy about going back after the events they'd been through the last time they'd been there. He tried to use her "minute" to get ready to push away his anxiety, with a fair amount of success. He didn't move when he finally heard the sound of heels on the grating.

"You know, the whole crisis could've wrapped itself up by now," he said conversationally. "I dunno what could've—oh."

She smiled when he finally turned to her, eyes running over her. "Problem?"

"You're…you're wearing a…a suit," he observed cautiously, getting to his feet and walking toward her.

"Well done," she said, still smiling.

She was wearing a navy blue pinstriped jacket and skirt, the latter of which ended a couple inches shy of her knee, her toned legs extending beneath to matching heels. Her honey blonde hair—that she'd cut again, much to his dismay—hung just past her shoulders, impeccably straight. She looked every inch the cool professional—and gorgeous. It never ceased to amaze him that she could make something ordinary stop his breath like that.

"This will work, then?" she asked after a moment when he still hadn't said anything else.

"Oh yes," he said, walking around her and eyeing the way the skirt and jacket hugged her…curves in the back.

"Lecherous old man," she teased, glancing back at him.

"Not sorry," he said with a grin, leaning down to kiss her quickly. "Oh, and I have something for you," he added, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a familiar leather wallet.

"Your psychic paper?" she asked, frowning.

"_Your _psychic paper," he corrected. "_My _spare. Jack got it off…" He paused, scratching at the back of his head. Six months later, and the name still made him want to hit things. He pushed the thought away, shaking himself a little before he continued. "Well, Jack found it and saved it for me. So now it's yours. Figure it'll look more official when we need it if we each have our own, plus get you out of jams if I'm not around."

"Look at you, sharing your toys," Rose said, grinning at him with her tongue poking out. "Maybe next I'll get a sonic thingy."

"Don't push it," he growled, heading for the coral strut his coat was draped over.

"One of these days, you're gonna give in," she said, putting the psychic paper into her pocket as he shrugged into his coat. "Just a matter of time."

"Hope is a wonderful thing," he said stoically. "Mind you, fine line between hope and delusions."

She laughed and rolled her eyes when he grinned at her, even while he filed the idea away for later. She was probably right…it would solve a lot of problems if she had something of her own when he wasn't around. Unfortunately, he also had to battle his own ego to allow that…he _liked _being able to swoop in occasionally to save her, as well as being the one who could get through all the doors.

The thought nagged at him as they made their way to Adipose Industries, which resulted in him feeling the need to prove his finesse with doors, opting to use a side entry of the building…namely, the emergency exit. He glanced around, then aimed his sonic screwdriver at the door until it popped and sparked, letting them through.

"Why do we even _have _psychic paper?" Rose muttered as he held the door open for her, but he only arched an eyebrow and headed down the corridor. Half way down, a security guard was passing them from the other direction, and they both flashed their wallets and declared themselves to be Health and Safety.

"_That's_ why we have psychic paper," the Doctor murmured, waggling his eyebrows and giving her a self-satisfied smile as the security guard wandered past them. "Ah, this way…looks like they're doing a presentation. Let's see if we can get some box seats."

"That means the projector room, doesn't it?" she asked suspiciously.

"Maybe," he said, grinning and leading the way.

"So glad I got dressed up for this," she sighed as she followed the sound of his laugh.

"Adipose Industries," a woman was saying at the front of the lecture hall as the Doctor and Rose slipped into the projection room. The Doctor pushed on his specs as they made their way to the projection window to watch the presentation unobserved. "The 21st century way to lose weight. No exercise, no diet, no pain. Just lifelong freedom from fat. The Holy Grail of the modern age. And here it is," she continued holding up a small capsule. "You just take one capsule, one capsule, once a day, for three weeks. And the fat, as they say..."

"The fat just walks away," a computer voice intoned. The Doctor and Rose raised their eyebrows at each other mockingly before turning back to the front.

"Excuse me, Miss Foster, if I could?" a woman in the seats interjected, raising a hand. "I'm Penny Carter, science correspondent for The Observer. There are a thousand diet pills on the market, a thousand con men stealing people's money. How do we know the fat isn't going straight into your bank account?"

"Oh Penny, if cynicism burnt up calories, we'd all be as thin as rakes," Miss Foster said with a simpering smile. "But if you want the science, I'll oblige."

She raised a remote, and the Doctor and Rose glanced to the side as the projector whirred to life.

"Adipose Industries," said a computer voice. "The Adipose capsule is composed of a synthesized mobilizing lipase, bound to a large protein molecule. The mobilizing lipase breaks up the triglycerides stored in the adipose cells, which then enter—"

A man chose that moment to come in and check on the projector, giving the pair crouched next to it an odd look.

"Health and Safety," Rose said, flashing her psychic paper.

"…Film department," the Doctor added when the man raised his eyebrows. They both turned back to the front as the video ended, and the man shook his head before checking the equipment.

"One hundred percent legal," Miss Foster said. "One hundred percent effective."

"But, can I just ask," Penny again interjected. "How many people have taken the pills to date?"

"We've already got one million customers within the Greater London area alone," Miss Foster informed her. "But from next week, we start rolling out nationwide. The future starts here. And Britain will be thin."

"Come on," the Doctor murmured, nodding to the projectionist and pulling Rose from the room.

"Worth investigating?" Rose asked as they made their way down the corridor towards the call center.

"Possibly," the Doctor said. "But we're not going to get anything from that spiel. Let's see if we can get a client list…if we can get in touch with someone actually using it, we might have a better chance of figuring out what it actually is. Mobilizing lipase…" He added this last under his breath, slowing his walk and frowning.

"What?" Rose asked, stopping to look at him. "What is it?"

"No idea," he said, his face clearing as he strode forward again. "C'mon."

Whatever it was stewing in his brain, it clearly wasn't firm enough to actually venture a guess yet, so Rose simply shook her head and followed him as he wove through the cubicles. He stopped at a likely one, pulling out his psychic paper again as he sat in the chair nearest the girl on the phone, Rose grabbing another chair and taking a seat just behind him.

"John Tyler, Health and Safety," he whispered as she continued the conversation with someone on the phone. She gave him a once over and smiled appreciatively, making Rose roll her eyes.

"The box comes with 21 days' worth of pills," she said to the person on the phone, still watching the Doctor as he picked up a necklace and studied it for a moment before passing it back to Rose for inspection. "A full information pack, and our special free gift, an Adipose Industries pendant. It's made of 18 carat gold, and it's yours for free. No, we don't give away pens, sorry. No, I can't make an exception, no."

"Yeah, we're gonna need to keep this," Rose said, slipping it into her pocket. "For…testing."

"What sort of testing?" the woman asked.

"Classified," Rose said, and the Doctor smirked.

"Also need a list of your clients," he added. "If you'd be so kind."

"Not hard to be kind to you," the woman said with a wink.

"Thanks, I am a bit of a people person," the Doctor said with a grin, and Rose snorted as he stood, looking around. "That the printer there?"

"By the plant, yeah," the girl said, turning to her computer.

"Brilliant," he said, sitting down again.

"Just a tick," she said.

"Has it got paper?" he asked, popping up again uncertainly.

"Yeah, Jimbo keeps it stocked," the woman replied, and he sat down again.

"Tigger," Rose murmured, and he shot her an arched brow.

"Excuse me, everyone," the voice of Miss Foster called from the middle of the room. "If I could have your attention."

Everyone stood. The Doctor reached a hand back to Rose, signaling her to stay down, as he stood cautiously, peeking surreptitiously over the top of the cubicle.

"On average, you're each selling forty Adipose packs per day. It's not enough. I want one hundred sales per person per day. And if not, you'll be replaced. Cos if anyone is good in trimming the fat, it's me. Now. Back to it."

"Anyway," the Doctor said, sitting down again as the woman left. "If you could print that off. Thanks."

"Just sending it to the printer now," she said, scribbling something on a piece of paper.

"Thanks, then," he said, rising again, only to be pulled back down by the woman as she thrust the paper at him. "Oh, what's that?"

"My telephone number," she said.

"What for?" he asked, confused.

"Health and Safety," she said. "You be health, I'll be safety."

"Sorry," Rose said, leaning forward and putting her glittering left hand on the Doctor's shoulder. "The safety position is filled."

The Doctor coughed and blushed, then held up his own left hand apologetically. "'Fraid so. But I'm sure you're a…a lovely woman. Um. We'll just…go."

They both stood and made their way to the printer quickly.

"Really, Rose," he murmured. "The position is filled?"

"Often," she said with a tongue-touched smile, and he shook his head, his ears still looking a little red as they reached the printer…that was distinctly lacking in printouts. The Doctor looked around, going so far as to check the copier before looking back at the cubicle with a pained expression.

"Coward," Rose said good-naturedly, turning back to the cubicle and peering over the top, receiving a sour look in return. "Sorry, me again."

Once they successfully got a printout, they went back to the TARDIS to regroup. The Doctor immediately set about tinkering, slowly creating a small contraption. Rose watching him in fascination—she didn't think she'd ever get over watching his skillful hands create devices out of seemingly random bits and bobs, his own mind creating the detailed schematic along the way.

"So what's this gonna be?" she asked after a few minutes.

"Mobilizing lipase," he said, then glanced up at her briefly as she looked at him blankly. "It's like you said, the science is wrong. It makes no sense. Lots of big words and fancy diagrams, but absolutely nothing of substance. But…their success stories seem genuine. People are losing weight. So…I wanna see where the weight is going."

"And this…tracks the fat?" she asked, nudging the device with a finger suspiciously.

"Sort of," he said, tilting his head. "Depends. If I'm right it will. It detects parthenogenesis or abiogenesis, and tracks the form it takes."

"The fat just walks away…" Rose said, arching an eyebrow.

"Mhm," he agreed, examining his handiwork critically for a moment before jumping up and darting over to his coat. "Alright, who've we got on the list?" he asked as he shrugged into his coat and shoved the device in his pocket.

Rose picked up the printout sitting on the console and scanned it quickly. "Roger Davey."

"Right then," the Doctor said. "Allons-y!"


	3. The Game is Afoot

_**Sorry this took a few days. I got Civ5 and both expansions for Christmas, so I got really distracted by taking out Austria and finding oil. And yes, I did finally see the special...and I'm just not even gonna say more than that, because it's not even worth commenting on. So here's a chapter instead. Yay!**_

* * *

The Doctor peered through the magnifying glass, carefully pulling apart the Adipose pendent to determine its real purpose. Things with Roger Davey had…not gone as planned. Well, depending on how one looked at it. On the one hand, the Doctor had been right about the parthenogenesis. On the other…he still wasn't any closer to figuring out how or why it was happening. He'd lost the van before he could talk to them or figure out where it was going. Their only lead remained Adipose Industries itself.

_Why, _though? One kilo wasn't exactly going to create an imposing figure, but enough of them…he shook his head, focusing on what was in front of him.

"Ohhh…" he said aloud after a few minute, poking at a few wires. "Fascinating."

"Something good?" Rose asked, holding out a mug of tea when he looked up at her.

"Thanks, love," he said, taking a long drink of the tea before setting it down next to him. "Maybe. Interesting, anyway. Seems to be a bio-flip digital stitch, specifically for remotely triggering parthenogenesis of specific DNA found in the matrix, which is automatically acquired by the subject's touch via biotuning."

"So…it automatically gloms onto whoever gets the pendant, and then someone at Adipose can make the fat jump out and run away?" Rose asked, blinking.

He looked up at her blankly. "Yeah, that's what I said."

"Course you did," Rose said in a teasing voice, and he arched an eyebrow at her. "So, back to Adipose Industries tomorrow….suppose we have some time to kill, then?"

"Rose, we have a _time machine_," he reminded her. "Just give me a second and we can go right now."

"But…it'll still be tomorrow on Earth, yeah?" she asked slowly as he reassembled the pendent.

"Yeah," he said, not looking up as he replaced his tools.

"So it won't really matter if we wait a few hours," she said, and he looked up at her with a frown.

"Suppose not," he said, confused. "But why?"

"Health and safety," she said, stepping closer and tugging his tie out from under his jacket.

"Wha—oh. _Oh._" He raised his hands to her waist, drawing her closer. "Mrs Tyler, that's harassment. I should report you."

"Mmm…" she murmured, pursing her lips and rolling her eyes in mock thoughtfulness for a moment before returning her gaze to his and smiling. "Worth it."

"Oh, yes," he said with a grin, then tilted his head down to capture her lips with his.

oOoOo

"So what made you decide to forego the suit today?" the Doctor asked as he once again shorted out the circuit in the emergency exit to gain entrance, eyeing Rose's black trousers and blue leather jacket as he held the door open for her.

"Sort of figured this would be more of a running for our lives day," she replied. "Suit and heels aren't _real _conducive to that lifestyle."

"I really don't plan on us having to run for our lives," he said with a frown.

"Do you ever?" she asked, smiling up at him. He arched an eyebrow, but decided not to comment further as he held another door open for her, this time to a cleaning cupboard. "Really?"

"Really," he said, nodding to the interior. "Gotta have somewhere to hide 'til everyone leaves."

Rose shook her head and preceded him into the cramped space. He pulled the door closed after him, using his sonic screwdriver to lock them in before looking around.

"Bit…intimate," Rose commented, kicking a bucket.

"And when, my love, has that ever been a problem?" he asked in a low voice, stepping closer to her as she looked up at him sharply. "Seems we once again have some time to kill," he added, running a hand over her cheek.

At his words, she launched herself at him, thrusting his hands into his hair to run her nails over his scalp as she pulled his head down to press her lips to his heatedly. He wound his long arms around her, pulling her close to him as he walked her backwards towards the wall. As soon as she connected with it, however, he felt it give, and they broke away simultaneously to stare at it.

"Hold that thought," the Doctor said roughly, letting go of her reluctantly and pushing her gently to the side. He stepped up to the wall and pressed on it, and it moved back another inch before he was able to slide it to the side, revealing an electronic set up behind it.

"Ohh…" he breathed, reaching for his specs and his screwdriver at the same time as he crouched to examine it, looking up and down. "Tower block. How come?"

"And so, the Doctor's true love is revealed," Rose said with a dramatic sigh, and he looked up at her apologetically.

"Rose, I need—"

"I'm kidding," she said, and reached down into his bigger-on-the-insides pocket, pulling out a book. "I came prepared."

"When did you put that in there?" he asked, frowning.

"Ages ago," she said, flipping over a bucket and sitting down, leaning against another wall as she opened the book. He tilted his head and glanced at the cover curiously.

"_Space, Time, and Gravitation_," he read aloud, then looked up at her. "Really? You'd rather read Eddington's theories from 1920 than examine a futuristic tower block computer?"

"You'll get engrossed in it and forget I'm there anyway," she said with a shrug. "Might as well keep myself amused. Besides…Eddington's a genius."

The Doctor snorted at that, then rolled his eyes when she flashed him a teasing smile before turning back to the tower block with a shake of his head. In minutes, he was, indeed, engrossed…albeit a little frustrated. He spent the next several hours—apart from one prescribed snog break from Rose—attempting to break in, hijack, or even just get any sort of response from the system, but to no avail. When Rose reached into his pocket again to pull out his watch, pointing out that it was after six, he was no closer to success than he had been when they'd first opened the blasted door.

"Should've just had my way with you when I had the chance," he muttered as they snuck out of the door and into the empty corridor.

"C'est la vie," she sighed, straightening the cuffs of her jacket as she glanced up and down the corridor. "So, what's the plan now?"

"Um…not sure," he said. "Wanna try to find Miss Foster's office, see if I can find a file conveniently laying out her plans."

"It's really weird how often that actually works," Rose commented, and he waggled his eyebrows and nodded. "Tell you what, you do that, I'm gonna hunt for the labs…see if I can find some real science."

He looked at her uncertainly for a moment—he still didn't like splitting up if it wasn't absolutely necessary, especially if it meant her on her own—but nodded when she arched a brow and looked mutinous.

"Alright, but if you don't find anything, come find me," he said. "Don't go snooping all over the building and getting yourself in trouble."

"You mean like you're planning to do?" she asked, but she was smiling, so he grinned back.

"Yep," he said, then leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead. "Be careful."

"You too," she said, and they both took off at a jog in separate directions.

After some thought, he decided his best course of action was the roof. Building like this, there was bound to be something for the window washers, and he'd have a better chance of finding—and getting into—the right office if he could zip down and across the building quickly, rather than running around the building and risking running into her around a blind corner. With that thought, he sent another quick mental warning to Rose to be careful before heading out onto the roof.

It didn't take long to locate Miss Foster's office several floors down, but before he was able to get in, Miss Foster herself entered with two heavies and the reporter that'd been asking questions the day before. He ducked quickly out of sight and rummaged through his pockets, pulling out his highly sensitive stethoscope—with any luck, she'd just spill whatever villainous plot she had in mind, saving him the trouble of finding out.

"You can't tie me up," the reporter—Pearl or Peri or Penny, Penny that was it—was saying. "What sort of a country do you think this is?"

"Oh, it's a beautifully fat country," Miss Foster purred. "And believe me, I've travelled a long way to find obesity on this scale."

"So come on then, Miss Foster," Penny said in a challenging tone. "Those pills. What are they?"

"Well, you might just as well have a scoop, since you'll never see it printed," Miss Foster said airily. "This is the spark of life."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Penny demanded.

"Officially, the capsule attracts all the fat cells and flushes them away," Miss Foster explained. "Well, it certainly attracts them, that part's true. But it binds the fat together and galvanizes it to form a body."

"Wha-what d'you mean 'a body'?

"I am surprised you never asked about my name," Miss Foster commented, and the Doctor's eyes narrowed. "I chose it well. Foster, as in foster mother. And these are my children."

"You're kidding me," Penny said in a shocked tone. "What the hell is that?"

The Doctor frowned and chanced a look over the sill, hoping they were suitably distracted with each other. He pulled the stethoscope out of his ears and peered into the room, looking at the little creature on the desk. It didn't really look like a big old alien threat…it was actually sort of cute. He drew in a breath, scanning the room before dropping back down out of sight—and froze when he saw the face in the window of the door, staring back at him with mirrored shock.

"Donna?" he mouthed through the window.

"_DOCTOR!_ " she mouthed back, in a way that made it clear she would be shouting if she could be. He was glad she couldn't.

"But…what?" he mouthed back, trying to process the information in front of him and failing. "Wha…_What_?"

"OH MY GOD!" she mouthed, breaking out into a wide grin as he stared.

"But…how?"

"It's me!" she mouthed, pointing at herself.

"Yes, I can see that!" he mouthed, gesturing along with his words.

"Oh this is brilliant!" she mouthed.

He stared at her for a second before trying to communicate anything else. "But what are you doing there?"

"I was looking for you!" she said.

"What for?" he demanded, confused.

He stared, his jaw slackening as he watched Donna go through a whole pantomime that he gathered went something like this:

_I came here...trouble...read about it on the internet. I thought, trouble = you! And this place is weird! Pills! So I hid. Back there. Crept along. Heard this lot. Looked. You! 'Cause they-_

He shook his head a little when she suddenly froze, following her gaze to Miss Foster, who was looking between them in bemusement.

"We interrupting you?" she asked.

The Doctor looked back at Donna, mouthing at her to run as he pulled out his sonic screwdriver and pointing it at the door and locking it as she took off.

"Get her," Miss Foster said. "And him."

With that, he pointed the screwdriver up at the control box so that the bucket flew up toward the roof again.

oOoOo

Rose wandered through the labyrinth of labs beneath the building with growing frustration. The Doctor and his bloody stupid sonic screwdriver, that was the problem. Because when they split up, he kept it with him, so when Rose faced a door locked electronically, her only option was to look in the window. One of these days, he was going to have to give in…or she was going behind his back and talk to the TARDIS and see if the ship could help with plans or something.

_Minor problem_, his voice called in her mind suddenly, and she stopped. _Tiny thing. Nothing to worry about._

_Then why are you telling me?_ she asked, tilting her head.

…_Full disclosure?_ he said tentatively.

_Where are you?_ she demanded, turning to head for the stairs.

_Roof_, he supplied. _Be careful!_

She shook her head as she headed for the stairs at a jog. It never ceased to amaze her how he got into trouble _all the time_, and yet never hesitated to dub her as jeopardy friendly. She paused in the stairwell around the tenth level when she felt a stab of panic from him.

_What's wrong? _she asked. When he gave her the mental equivalent of a brush off, she redoubled her efforts to race up the stairs. _Doctor! What's going on?_

_Bit busy! _he shot back.

She paused again on the fifteenth floor, her internal Doctor-focused compass tell her she'd gone too far. She ran back down and onto the fourteenth floor, skidding to a stop when she heard a thump from an office to her right. She turned to see the Doctor scrambling to his feet.

"_Ever_ the graceful Time Lord," she commented. "You okay?"

"Yep," he said, sprinting out into the corridor and dragging her back to the stairwell. "Never better. A little adrenaline never hurt anyone."

"Miss Foster catch you?" she asked.

"Yep," he said as they ran down the stairs. "Also ran into Donna."

"_Donna?"_ she squeaked, stunned.

"Yeah, mad bride from a couple years ago," he said, smashing through the door onto the floor below.

"Yeah, I remember Donna," she said. "What's she doing _here?"_

"Oh…just…hanging out," he said, turning into an office and darting for the window where a pair of legs were dangling, completely ignoring the woman tied up in front of the desk.

"Is anyone gonna tell me what's going on?" the woman demanded.

"You're a journalist, yeah?" Rose asked, suddenly recognizing her from the presentation.

"Yes," replied the woman.

"Alien invasion," she said as she heard the Doctor's sonic whirr before he slid the window open. "Believe me?"

"No," the woman scoffed.

"Then do what you lot do best," she said, joining the Doctor. "Make it up."

"Get off!" Donna called from outside as the Doctor reached for her.

"I've got you!" he called out to her. "I've got you. Stop kicking!"

After a little more kicking and some awkward maneuvering, he managed to hoist her inside. She straightened her shoulders and her jacket proudly the minute she was on her feet, looking annoyed at the world at large.

"Donna, you remember my wife," the Doctor said, nodding at Rose.

"Hello," Rose said, smiling and wiggling her fingers in a wave.

"Your wife?" Donna asked, glancing between them before breaking out into a grin. "Said so, didn't I? And I was right, too…it's always like this with you two, isn't it?"

"Yep," Rose said with a wide grin.

"And off we go!" the Doctor said, matching her expression before pushing both women toward the door.

"OI!" they heard the reporter shout from inside, and the Doctor paused to pop back into the room.

"Sorry," he said quickly, aiming his sonic screwdriver at the rope binding her to the chair and releasing her. He moved to run down the corridor again, but popped back in to add quickly, "Now do yourself a favor—get out."

With that, he turned and took off down the corridor, Donna and Rose close at his heels. They ended up back in the call center, weaving through the cubicles—then coming to a dead stop when they nearly ran full tilt into Miss Foster, flanked by armed guards on either side.

"Well then," she said, taking off her glasses and smirking at them. "At last."


	4. Packed and Ready

_**This took...longer than expected. I got stuck on a spot and got frustrated for a while. But it's here now. I'm also working on a super secret squirrel project that may or may not start getting posted in a few days to give me some variety, but I will try very hard to not make you wait as long for the next chapter of this. But yes, here we are, Donna Noble, huzzah!**_

* * *

"_Well then," she said, taking off her glasses and smirking at them. "At last."_

"Hello," Donna said, giving a little wave.

"Nice to meet you," the Doctor said, relaxing into the pseudo-casual stance he took to throw people off, even while energy thrummed through him. "I'm the Doctor."

"Rose Tyler," Rose offered, wiggling her fingers a little.

"And I'm Donna," Donna put in.

"Lovely, the three musketeers," Miss Foster said condescendingly. "And evidently off-worlders, judging by your sonic technology."

"Oh yes, I've still got your sonic pen," the Doctor said, digging it out of his pocket and examining it. "Nice, I like it. Sleek, it's kinda sleek."

"Oh it's definitely sleek," Donna agreed when he showed it to her.

"Yeah, and if you were to sign your real name that would be…?" the Doctor asked.

"Matron Cofelia of the Five-Straighten Classabindi Nursery Fleet," Miss Foster informed him. "Intergalactic Class."

"So, what, like a sort of wet nurse?" Rose asked, eyeing her.

"Using humans as surrogates," the Doctor said, nodding.

"I've been employed by the Adiposian First Family," Miss Foster explained. "To foster a new generation after their breeding planet was lost."

"Hang on, how d'you _lose _a _planet_?" Rose asked, frowning. "Not like they usually just...slip away."

"Oh, politics are none of my concern," Miss Foster said dismissively. "I'm just here to take care of the children on behalf of the parents."

"What, like an outer space super-nanny?" Donna asked.

"Yes, if you like," she said.

"So…so those little things," Donna said slowly. "They're…they're made out of fat yeah, but that woman, Stacy Campbell, there was nothing left of her."

"Oh, in a crisis the Adipose can convert bone and hair and internal organs," Miss Foster said. "Makes them a little bit sick, poor things."

"Yeah?" Rose said in annoyed voice. "And what about the people that _die_ to create them 'in a crisis'? Suppose the fact that your little things get 'a little bit sick' makes their families feel loads better about it."

"It's really none of my concern how _their _families feel," said Miss Foster, arching an eyebrow. "I'm only concerned about the family employing me."

"Seeding a level 5 planet is against galactic law," the Doctor said darkly as Rose made a disgusted noise.

"Are you threatening me?" Miss Foster asked.

"I'm trying to help you, Matron," he told her. "This is your one chance; 'cause if you don't call this off, then I'll have to stop you."

"I hardly think you can stop bullets," she said evenly, and the guards on either side of her aimed their weapons at them, galvanizing the Doctor into action.

"No, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on," he said quickly, holding up a hand and reaching into his jacket pocket. "One more thing, before…dying. Do you know what happens if you hold two identical sonic devices against each other?"

Miss Foster paused, baffled by the non-sequitur. "No."

"Nor me," he said with a manic grin. "Let's find out!"

He brought both sonic devices up, holding them against each other as he switched them on. They reverberated back on each other, creating an agonizing cacophony that shattered panes of glass around them and made everyone but the Doctor slap their hands over their ears and shout in pain. Rose reached for the Doctor at the same time Donna did, the latter pushing while she pulled, throwing him off balance and making him turn off the sonics.

"Come on!" Rose shouted, and the three of them took off as Miss Foster and her guards attempted to regroup. "Hell of a plan!" she shouted as they raced down the stairs again.

"It worked, didn't it?" he hollered back.

They tore through the corridors, returning to the store cupboard the Doctor and Rose had hidden in during the day. The Doctor wrenched the door open as the other two skidded to a halt, immediately chucking supplies out to reach the back wall with more ease.

"Well, that's one solution," Donna commented. "Hide in a cupboard. I like it."

"Easier and less awkward than trying decide which loo to hide in," Rose said with a grin, following the Doctor inside as he once again pushed aside the back wall to reveal the machine behind it.

"I've been hacking in to this thing all day," he explained quickly. "Cause the matron's got a computer core running through the center of the building."

"But you said you couldn't get in," Rose said, shaking her head in confusion. "You said it's triple deadlocked.

"It is," he said with a quick nod. "But now I've got this," he went on, holding up the sonic pen and grinning, his tongue moving over his top teeth. "I can get into it."

"Well then, what're you waiting for?" Donna demanded. "Get on it, spaceman."

"Yes ma'am," he said, arching a brow at Rose before turning to the machine again, opening it and rummaging around at the wires inside. "She's wired up the whole building. We need a bit of privacy." He pulled out two sparking wires and touched them together briefly, causing them to spark more brightly. Rose and Donna exchanged a glance when the lights dimmed briefly.

"Did you just make the building electrocute the guards?" Rose asked, her lips twitching.

"Just enough to stun them," he said defensively, glancing up at her briefly. "Why's she wired up the tower block?" he murmured, mostly to himself, as he fiddled with the wires and cables. "What's it all for?"

Donna sidled over to Rose while the Doctor worked. "You look older," she said, and Rose looked up at her. "Both of you do...it's in your eyes."

"Been a…long few years," Rose responded carefully.

"A few, eh?" Donna said with a small, disbelieving chuckle. "Only been one for me. Well, a little over a year. Still just the two of you, then?"

"Yeah," replied Rose. "Well, we had this…friend. Martha. She travelled with us for a while. She was brilliant. Maid of honor at my wedding."

"Where's she?" Donna asked.

"Gone," the Doctor said. "With her family, I mean. Gone home. After…after I destroyed half her life. She went home."

"Stop it," Rose said softly, putting a hand on his arm. He glanced down at her and swallowed hard before looking back at the machine. "He didn't destroy her life. The…someone else…did some damage. But she's fine. Probably well on her way to becoming a doctor herself. But what about you?" she asked after a pause. "I thought you were gonna go travelling on your own."

"Easier said than done," said Donna, shrugging. "It's like I had that one day with you and I was gonna change. I was gonna do so much. Then I woke up next morning, same old life. It's like you two were never there. And I tried. I did try, I went to Egypt. I was gonna go barefoot and everything. And then it's all bus trips and guidebooks and don't drink the water and two weeks later you're back home. Expect it was a bit different for you. I must have been mad turning down that offer."

"What?" Rose asked, nonplussed. "What offer?"

"To come with you," Donna explained, as if this was obvious.

"Come with us?" the Doctor asked sharply, looking up at her.

"Oh yes, please!" she said happily.

"…Right," he said, glancing at Rose helplessly.

The computer voice cut in, saving either of them from making more of a response. "Inducer activated."

"What's it doing now?" Rose asked.

"She's started the program," he said, alarmed. "So far they're just losing weight, but the Matron has gone up to emergency pathogenesis."

Donna looked from the machine to him. "That's when they convert—"

"Skeletons, organs, everything," the Doctor said tersely, running a hand through his hair. "A million people are gonna die! I've gotta cancel the signal. Rose, have you still got the…the capsule thingy?"

"Yeah," she said, pulling it out of the pocket of her leather jacket and handing it to him. "What're you gonna do?"

"It contains the primary signal," he explained hurriedly as he pulled off one end and wired it into the machinery. "If I can switch it off the fat goes back to being just fat."

"Inducer increasing," the computer informed them as he stepped back.

"No no no no no," the Doctor said, his hand going through his hair again.

"What'd she do?" Rose demanded. "Why isn't the capsule working?"

"She's doubled it, I need—Haven't got time!" he growled, frustrated. "It's too far, I can't override it! They're all gonna die!"

"Is there anything I can do?" Donna asked.

"Sorry, Donna, this is way beyond you!" he said, jumping for the machine again in a panic. "Gotta double the base pulse, I can't..."

"Doctor," Rose cut in. "What do you need?"

"I need a second capsule to boost the override," he snapped. "But I've only got the one. I can't save them!"

He fiddled with the switches again desperately, then went cross-eyed as another capsule dropped in front of him on a chain. He followed it up and looked at Donna in shock, then both burst into laughter as he took it, breaking it open and wiring it into the computer quickly. The machine sparked and smoked, then shut down completely. The Doctor grinned, wrapping an arm around Rose's waist when she gave a happy shriek and leaned up to kiss his cheek.

"Donna Noble, you're a star," she said, beaming at the ginger woman.

"All in a day's work," Donna replied flippantly, but looking pleased as the Doctor chuckled. All three froze, however, when a sound loud enough to shake the building above them came from outside. "What the hell was that?" she asked then.

"If I had to guess," the Doctor said slowly, looking up at the ceiling. "I'd say…the kids' nursery."

"Fine," said Donna. "When you say nursery you don't mean a crèche in Notting Hill."

"Nursery ship," Rose said quickly as the computer lit up again. "Doctor, they're not gonna try to induce again, are they? Make more kids?"

"Can't," he said. "It won't work for that anymore. Hold on."

"Incoming signal," the computer voice said.

"What's all that mean?" Donna asked as the machine gave a message in an alien language.

"Instructions from the Adiposian First Family," the Doctor said, listening intently. "She's wired up the tower block to convert it into a levitation post. Oh. _Oh_. We're not the ones in trouble now. _She_ is!"

He took off again, leading the women back up to the roof. They skidded to a halt when they got there, staring at the little Adipose floating up to the ship all around them.

"What you gonna do then?" Donna asked. "Blow them up?"

"They're just children," the Doctor said, relaxing and winding an arm around Rose's waist. "They can't help where they come from."

"Oh, that makes a change from last time," she remarked. "Marriage has done wonders for you. Or maybe it was Martha.

"Both," Rose said with a grin.

"Yeah, probably," he said. "It's nice. And Martha…yeah. She did both of us good. She fancied me, you know…for a bit."

"Oh, so you did know," Rose teased.

"Course I knew," he scoffed. "I'm brilliant, remember?"

"Mad Martha, that one," Donna said, and they both looked at her. "Blind Martha. Charity Martha."

The Doctor looked offended, and Rose started giggling madly as they looked back at the Adipose. One waved to them as it floated upwards, and they waved back.

"I'm waving at fat," Donna said.

"Yup," Rose agreed, still smiling.

"Actually, as a diet plan, it sort of works," the Doctor mused, then straightened and let go of Rose when he caught sight of Miss Foster. "There she is!"

They ran to the edge as Miss Foster floated up, pausing when she got level with them and smiling primly.

"Matron Cofelia, listen to me!" the Doctor shouted.

"Oh, I don't think so, Doctor," Miss Foster said, shaking her head a little. "And if I never see you again, it will be too soon."

"Oh, why does no one ever listen?" the Doctor muttered, frustrated. "I'm trying to help! Just get across to the roof. Can you shift the levitation beam?"

"What, so that you can arrest me?" Miss Foster asked, arching a brow.

"Just listen," he said. "I saw the Adiposian instructions – they know it's a crime, breeding on Earth. So what's the one thing they want to get rid of? Their accomplice!"

"I'm far more than that," Miss Foster said, raising her arms to gesture to the Adipose as the last of them made it aboard the ship. "I'm nanny to all these children."

"Yeah, well, they've got the kids," Rose pointed out as the Doctor reached out a hand to Miss Foster imploringly. "What would they still need a nanny for?"

Suddenly, the blue light surrounding Miss Foster vanished. She looked down for a second, bewildered, before falling with a scream. Donna turned and hid her face in the Doctor's shoulder, and his arm went around her as he looked down sadly. He slipped his other arm around Rose's shoulders, kissing her hair softly before looking back up at the ship. As all three of them watched, the little Adipose waved, then the ship took off in a burst of speed, leaving behind the chaos in the streets.

oOoOo

As they made their way out of the building and into the street, sirens blaring around them, the Doctor dug the sonic pen out of his pocket and looked at it thoughtfully. There was any number of situations they'd been in which would have gone differently, or at least smoother, if Rose had her own sonic device. He stamped down his male ego as he nudged her with his shoulder, tossing the pen up for her to catch.

"Now I fully expect you to get yourself out of any and all jams," he said sternly, arching an eyebrow and attempting to keep a straight face while she grinned. "No more being jeopardy friendly."

"Yeah, cause that's worked so well for you," she teased, then went up on her tiptoes to kiss him.

"Oi, you three!" a voice shouted behind them, and the Doctor broke away from Rose to see Penny hobbling out of the building, once again tied to the chair. "You're just mad. Do you hear me? Mad! And I'm gonna report you for…madness!"

"You see, some people just can't take it," Donna said as the journalist hobbled away, the Doctor and Rose staring at her.

"No," the Doctor said, shaking his head.

"And some people can," Donna went on, and he looked down at her. "So, then – TARDIS! Come on!"

She grabbed his hand and yanked him away, Rose following behind and laughing when he looked back at her, half-way between horrified and helpless. She tugged him into the alley that the TARDIS was in, and he headed for his ship immediately, only to stop and turn when she spoke again.

"That's my car!" she said, pointing at it, while the Doctor and Rose exchanged a stunned look. "That is like destiny! And I've been ready for this. I packed ages ago, just in case," she continued, darting around to the boot and opening it up to reveal several suitcases inside. "Cause I thought, hot weather, cold weather, no weather…they go anywhere, I've gotta be prepared."

While she said this, she gave Rose the handle to a wheelie suitcase, then stacked several suitcases into the Doctor's arms, topping it off with a striped hatbox.

"You've got a...a...hatbox," he said slowly, blinking.

"Planet of the Hats, I'm ready!" she said happily, then darted over to the TARDIS, still babbling happily.

The Doctor was…not so happy as he stood surrounded by her luggage. Rose stood next to him, one hand still on the wheeled suitcases handle, while her other hand was up near her mouth as she chewed on a nail and watched him.

"I don't I need injections though, do I?" Donna was saying. "Like when you go to Cambodia, is there any of that? 'Cause my friend Veena went to Bahrain, and..." She trailed off when she realized that they didn't look nearly as excited. "You're not saying much."

"No, it's just...It's a funny old life, in the TARDIS," the Doctor said slowly.

"You don't want me," Donna said quietly, sounding sad.

"No, it's not that," Rose said quickly, turning to her. "It's just…Like I said, it's been a long few years. And it's not always…safe, travelling with us."

"But you asked me," Donna said. "And it's not safe down here, either. At least when I'm with you...I have a chance of seeing something else. Of doing something."

The Doctor stared at her, trying to think of a good response. There was a reason he'd said no to Astrid, back at Christmas. There was a reason it'd just been them for months. For once, he hadn't wanted an entourage, he hadn't wanted anyone he had to be clever around or impress...anyone else to risk when his life got out of hand. He'd needed it to just be him and Rose.

"Would you rather be on your own?" she asked now, her voice soft as she tried to hide her disappointment and feelings of rejection…but not quite managing it.

"It's just…" he trailed off, trying to figure out a way to phrase his reasons for trepidation. "Like I said, Martha left, because she'd suffered a lot…her whole family had. And that was all my fault. All those reasons you had for saying no before, they still exist, they're still real."

"Yeah, but now I'm saying yes," she told him.

"She's got a point," Rose said, and he looked down at her sharply. "And we have been on our own for a while. I…think maybe it's time we got to show other people the wonders of the universe again, maybe…"

_You can't shut out everyone forever, _she added in his mind.

He sighed, realizing that if his wife was on board with the plan, there was no way he was going to be able to say no, because he was all but physically incapable of denying her anything. Plus…he wasn't sure he really wanted to say no…it had been nice to have someone else with them for a bit.

"Fine," he said finally. "But you know the risks," he continued severely, wagging a finger at her. "So if you go to the past and disrupt a causal nexus and come home to find your family is suddenly made of sentient vapor, don't come crying to me."

"That's not gonna happen," Rose assured Donna with a smile and a shake of her head.

Donna stared at them, her eyes growing wide as hope bubbled up in her again. "I can come?"

"Yeah," he said, relaxing from his tense stance. "Course you can, yeah."

"Welcome aboard," Rose said, grinning widely.

"Oh, this is just _wizard_," Donna said, running to them, arms outstretched for a hug—then stopped short. "Car keys!" she blurted.

"What?" the Doctor asked, thrown.

"I've still got my mum's car keys!" she said, holding them up. "I won't be a minute!"

She took off again, leaving the Doctor and Rose alone.

"You sure about this?" he asked, hefting up a suitcase.

"Absolutely," she said. "Allons-y!"

"Couldn't have said it better myself," he said with a grin, then dropped a quick kiss on her mouth before toting Donna's plentiful luggage into the TARDIS.

oOoOo

"I know, Mum," Donna was saying into her mobile. "I saw it, little fat people. Listen, I've got to go. I'm going to stay with Veena for a bit."

"…It was in the sky!" her mum said, the tail end of a long babble.

"Yeah, I know," she said again, rolling her eyes and looking around. "Spaceship. But, I've still got the car keys. Look. There is a bin on Brook Street, about thirty feet from the corner, I'm going to leave them in there."

"What? A bin?" her mum's horrified voice shouted as she dropped the keys in the bin.

"Yes, that's right, a bin," Donna replied with an exasperated sigh.

"You can't do that," her mum protested.

"Oh, stop complaining," snapped Donna, eager to return to the Doctor and Rose. "The car's just down the road a bit. Got to go, really got to go. Bye."

"But Donna, you can't—" her mum began, but she hung up.

She looked around and scanned the people standing by the police barricade around the Adipose Industries building, approaching a young dark man.

"Listen," she said, catching his attention by tapping him on the shoulder. "There is this woman that's going to come along, a tall blond woman called Sylvia, tell her that bin there. Right, it'll all make sense. That bin there."

She turned again, giddy as she jogged back to the spaceship.

"Off we go, then!" she said as she entered, closing the doors behind her.

"Here it is," the Doctor said importantly. "The TARDIS. It's bigger on the inside than it is on the outside—"

"Oh, I know that bit," she interrupted. "Although frankly, you could turn the heat up."

Rose burst out laughing as his face fell. "Right, Donna Noble," she said, still grinning. "Whole wide universe…where d'you wanna go?"

"Oh, I know exactly the place," Donna said.

"Which is?" asked the Doctor, already moving for the controls.

"Two and a half miles, that way," she said, nodding her head to the side.

They were hovering over a small hill in Chiswick when Donna opened the doors again. They could just make out the tiny figure of Donna's granddad with his telescope. Donna waved happily, the Doctor and Rose joining in after a beat.

Down below, Wilfred Mott waved exuberantly, then danced a little jig as the blue box zoomed away. He only hoped his girl had finally found her path to believing in herself as much as he always had.


	5. Dinner for Three

_**I'm not even going to try to defend myself for the lateness of this chapter. I've got nothing. Well, I've had a bunch of Moffat induced ire that I've been ranting about on tumblr for a while, but yeah, no real excuse. Mostly, I just got stuck. The beginning of stories is always sort of tough for me, which is why I don't usually start posting until I'm a few chapters in. ANYWAY. Sorry again.**_

* * *

"So, Donna," the Doctor said after he'd piloted away from the little hill. "Where do you wanna go now?"

"Has this place got a kitchen?" Donna asked.

"What?" the Doctor asked, turning to stare at her in confusion.

"You know, a _kitchen_," she repeated slowly. "A place to prepare _meals_…or at least store food."

"Of course we've got a kitchen," he said. "Why wouldn't we have a kitchen? Who hasn't got a _kitchen_?"

"Well, I don't know!" she said defensively, catching a glance at Rose biting her lip as she stood to the side, looking between them. "Maybe you two just stop for intergalactic take away when you get hungry."

"No, we don't," he said, arching an eyebrow. "Well, not always. I mean, sometimes we—_point is_, we've _got _a kitchen. What're you going on about kitchens for anyway?"

"'Cause I just spent the better part of a day hiding in a loo," she explained. "Dunno what you two managed in your cupboard, not much as far as meal service in the ladies."

"Right," the Doctor said slowly.

"Tell you what," Rose said, finally stepping in. "Doctor, why don't you go sort out some dinner, and I'll help Donna find a room to put her stuff in, and then we'll meet you in there."

"Yeah, good," he said. "I'll just go off to the kitchen. Which we have. Honestly, what sort of ship wouldn't have a _kitchen_?"

He continued to mutter as he walked away, and Rose rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"I can already tell that living with you two is gonna be interesting," she said as she hefted up a bag and grabbed the handle of the wheelie suitcase. "C'mon then, let's see what the TARDIS has for you."

"What do you mean, what the TARDIS has for me?" Donna asked, picking up her hatbox and another bag.

"Oh, she sort of…custom designs everyone's bedroom," Rose said airily.

"So your spaceship is also your interior decorator?" Donna asked.

"Oh, she's a lot of things," Rose said, looking back with a smile as she turned to a door. "Let's try this one, yeah?"

She opened the door and led the way inside, and Donna gasped. There was a large four post bed centered on the wall furthest from her, framed by two large windows. Along one wall were shelves for knick knacks and posts for her hats, and the other had a desk and a large wardrobe with mirrored doors. She put the suitcase and hatbox down gently on the bed and moved to the windows.

"But that's my garden," she said. "I can even see Granddad's hill."

"Simulated," Rose said, moving to stand next to her. "She does that. She likes people to be comfortable, and see things that make them happy and feel at home. She must _really_ like you to make it so personal so quick, though. Poor Martha had the equivalent of Motel Six for two weeks." Donna swallowed and nodded when she felt Rose's eyes on her. "Hey, you alright?"

"Yeah," she said with a tight smile. "Yeah, fine. It's just…"

"It can be a bit much," Rose said, nodding. "C'mon, let's get the rest of your stuff so we can go find out what the Doctor's decided on for dinner."

It took two more trips to get everything to her new room, and Donna chattered happily the whole time, Rose occasionally interjected a question or a giggle depending on what she said.

"So, that's why you were looking for us?" Rose asked as they carried to last of the luggage. "Earth just wasn't living up to your expectations?"

"It's more than that," Donna said. "Before you two showed up, the world was so…small, but it felt alright. Then I met you, and suddenly…I felt it. But it just felt like nothing was big enough. Even going to Egypt was just being small somewhere else. Then all this mad stuff kept happening, with that hospital in London, and the bees, and that weird stuff with Harold Saxon—" She stopped when Rose suddenly gasped and dropped the bag she was holding. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," the blonde said quickly, picking up the bag and putting it on the bed. "Just…clumsy. I think that's all of it, yeah? Kitchen then."

"Surprised Mister All Powerful is okay with being shoved off to the kitchen," Donna commented as she followed Rose back out into the corridor.

"Better this way, trust me," Rose said. "Apparently, my cooking defies universal laws."

"Bad then," Donna said.

"Really bad," Rose said with a laugh as they entered the kitchen. Donna looked around in surprise, having expected something more futuristic, but it looked basically like a slightly larger version of most kitchens she'd been in. It was mostly grey, stainless steel and granite, but with little splashes of color everywhere—from the flowers on the table to the bright red toaster to the blue "Kiss the Cook" apron hanging beside the stove—but mostly centered on the pictures that were scattered on the refrigerator door. The Doctor himself had done away with his suit jacket and rolled up his shirtsleeves, his tie flung over one shoulder to keep it out of his way. He looked for all the world like a businessman home from work as he leaned down to kiss Rose lightly before stepping back from the counter to let her chop vegetables.

She stared at them, trying to make the casually intimate couple in front of her join with the image in her head of the people she'd met the previous Christmas, and failing miserably.

"Donna?" the Doctor asked, his tone and concerned look giving the impression of having already been speaking.

"Yeah, sorry, what?" she asked, shaking her head a little.

"Stir fry," he said, nodding at a sizzling pan on the stove. "That work for you?"

"Yeah, lovely," she said, smiling, then cut her eyes to Rose again. "You're allowing Rose to help?" she asked, nodding at the other woman.

"Well…" the Doctor said, turning to Rose as well. "She can't be trusted with actual cooking on her own, but she does wonderful prep work."

"Oi!" Rose cried. "What about Christmas, couple years back, right after we met Donna? Made dinner then, didn't I?"

"Um…right," the Doctor said, turning quickly towards the stove, but Donna saw his ears redden.

"I knew it!" Rose shouted. "I knew you were checking on things!"

"I just wanted it to turn out well!" he said, turning back to her with his hands raised defensively. "You worked so hard on it…"

"Yeah, alright," she said with a sigh, shaking her head as she turned back to the vegetables. "It was good."

"Yes it was," he said, throwing a wink at Donna. "Donna, why don't you grab a bottle of wine?" he added, nodding at the rack against one wall as he scraped chicken he'd already chopped into the frying pan. "How about…the Zentho one? The um…the uh…orange, no, not that orange…the redder orange…no, that's red…yeah, that one," he finally said when Donna held another one up.

"Oh, are you sure?" she asked snidely, her eyebrow having ratcheted up a little higher with each selection.

"Yeah, sure," he said, oblivious to her ire as Rose laughed and handed Donna wineglasses.

"Blimey, is he always like this?" Donna asked as she poured.

"Always," Rose said with another chuckle, turning back to her veggies.

"Always like what?" the Doctor asked, looking genuinely baffled as both women rolled their eyes.

"So, how long have you actually been married, then?" Donna asked, handing glasses to both of them before sipping from hers.

"I think we agreed on two years, right?" the Doctor asked Rose, taking the cutting board with vegetables from her and scraping them into the pan.

"What do you mean _agreed_?" Donna asked sharply. "Can't you remember?"

"It's…well…it's sort of…"

"Complicated," Rose finished for him, taking her glass and sitting down at the table.

"Yeah?" Donna asked, looking between them. "Well, when did you get married?"

"Nineteen sixty-nine," they supplied in unison.

Donna stared at them, confused. "No, but hold on, that'd mean you've been married for something like forty years. No," she said, holding up her hand when Rose opened her mouth. "Hold on. Time machine. So…how long ago was nineteen sixty-nine for you?"

"Oh, she's good," Rose said, taking another sip of wine. "It's like he said, two years ago. About. But we got separated for a while, and things went…wonky."

"Wonky how?" Donna asked.

"Technically, Rose has been married to me for six months longer than I've been married to her," the Doctor said, turning to them and gesturing with a spatula. "More, if you count—" He stopped , drawing in a sharp breath as a flicker of…something went over his face, gone so quick Donna wasn't sure she saw it. "But we don't, so there you are. It's been two years for Rose, so that's what we're going with."

Donna let out a breath and cocked her head to the side, raising her glass to Rose. "And I thought Dad always forgetting his anniversary was bad. Cheers to you for putting up with this one."

"Worth it," Rose said, her tongue sticking out just a little from her grin as she looked at the Doctor, who winked at her as he started separating out rice and stir fry on to plates.

While they ate, Donna continued to ask about things they'd been up to since she'd last seen them. They told her about meeting Martha at the hospital, and about going to Shakespeare, all three of them breaking into hysterics when they talked about Shakespeare saving the world from alien witches by quoting Harry Potter.

"So, where to next?" the Doctor asked after the plates had been cleared away.

"Bed," Rose said, looking at Donna, who was starting to flag.

"Oh, I'm alright," the ginger woman said. "Could go for hours still."

"Trust me," Rose said. "No telling how long the next adventure will be. Get some sleep…the universe isn't going anywhere in the meantime."

"Yeah, alright," she said, sighing and finishing the last of her wine. "Don't you two go off on any escapades without me."

"Promise," the Doctor said, sliding his arm around Rose's shoulder and smiling. "Wouldn't be worth the tongue lashing I'd get later. Your room should be the second door on the left."

"That's not where it was before," Donna said with a frown.

"That happens," Rose said. "Psychic ship, remember? Sleep well."

"Yeah, you too," she said, stepping out of the kitchen. She looked down the corridor, then moved to the second door on the left suspiciously. When she did turn the knob, she found that not only was it her room, but the windows showed a night sky now, and all her luggage was gone, but all her hats were on pegs, and a peek into the wardrobe revealed most of the rest of her belongings. She shook her head as she changed and got ready for bed, wondering what she'd gotten herself into, with this mad ship and this mad couple..but she was smiling as she fell asleep.


	6. The Original Romance City

_**New chapter, new adventure, yay! This one is...a little distressing for me, because it always seemed like there would be some major PTSD type emotional fallout for the Doctor afterwards, far more than we actually got to witness on the show, and it just makes me sad for him. Granted, most of season 4 made me sad for him, and rewatching it is so much more traumatizing, because I know how bad it's going to get.**_

_**And thus, I say suck it to canon and make up my own Whoniverse. Author Victorious.**_

* * *

"Oh my god, why can't you just admit that you were wrong?" Rose asked with a laugh.

"Rose Tyler, I was not wrong," the Doctor insisted, not looking up from the fluid links he was checking. "I simply…miscalculated."

"Your miscalculation ended us up in a tree," she said. "_And _you still owe me ten quid, thanks."

"What happened to what's mine is yours?" he asked as he turned to her.

"That's just it," she said, her tongue poking out a little from her grin. "Your ten quid is mine."

"Hmm…" he said, arching an eyebrow at her. Before he could say anything else, a noise at the arched entrance to the console room alerted him to the presence of a shuffling and sleepy Donna making her way to them, holding a very large mug of tea. "Ah, good morning Donna. Slept well, I hope?"

"Yeah, great," she said, taking a long drink. "You should give your ship a raise…that's the most comfortable bed I've ever slept in."

The ship hummed warmly around them, and the Doctor looked up with a smile. "I think she probably agrees with you...and that she's glad you enjoyed it."

"She?" Donna asked.

"Ships are always she," Rose said, her hands trailing over the controls as she walked around the console. "Especially this one. Best ship in the universe."

The Doctor smiled fondly at Rose for a moment before turning back to Donna. "So! Given any thought to where you want to go first?"

"Oh...I dunno," Donna said, rolling her eyes up to the ceiling. "Somewhere...classic. Romantic."

"I have got just the place," the Doctor said with a grin, dancing around the console and speeding his ship toward their destination. All three of them rocked when the ship landed heavily. "There we are! C'mon! Time's a wastin'!"

"This is a time machine, isn't it?" he heard Donna say as he darted for his coat and shrugged into it.

"Still no time like the present," Rose said, and he flashed her a grin. "Besides, just having a time machine won't make him stop acting like a six year old after too much cake."

"Oi!" he cried, and both women laughed. He shook his head and headed for the door, holding it open behind him as a he pushed a rough curtain aside. "There you are Donna," he said, beaming. "The original romance city: Ancient Rome. Well, not to them, obviously," he went on, sauntering out into the street, glancing at the stalls around them. "For all intents and purposes right now…this is brand new Rome."

"Oh my God, it's... it's so Roman!" Donna said excitedly. "This is fantastic!"

The Doctor laughed as she threw her arms around his neck, hugging her back happily.

"I'm here…in Rome," she went on as Rose slipped an arm through hers and grinned at her. "Donna Noble in Rome."

"Yep," Rose agreed, looking around. "Only…Doctor, we're not going to end up running into ourselves or anything, are we?"

"Nah," he said. "It's only seventy-nine AD right now. We won't be here for another...oh...forty years?"

"Hang on, you've been here before?" Donna asked.

"Couple of times, yeah," said the Doctor, nodding. "Rose and I came here a few years back. Time before that was ages ago, though. And before you ask, that fire had nothing to do with me."

"Course it didn't," Rose teased.

"Wellll...a little bit," he drawled. "But I haven't gotten the chance to look around properly."

"This is just weird," Donna said. "I mean, everyone here is dead."

"Wouldn't go mentioning that to them," Rose said softly, and the Doctor shot her a grin.

Donna looked around again, then stopped short when she noticed a sign they were passing. "Hold on a minute," she said. "That sign over there is in English. Are you having me on? Are we in Epcot?"

"No, no, no, no," the Doctor said hurriedly, following her gaze. "That's the TARDIS translation circuits. Just makes it look like English... speech as well. You're talking Latin right now."

"Seriously?" she asked, looking at Rose.

"Mhm," affirmed Rose.

"I just said 'seriously' in Latin," she said, stunned.

"Oh yeah," said the Doctor with a grin.

"What if I said something in actual Latin?" she asked as they started wandering again. "Like 'veni, vidi, vici'? My dad said that when he came back from football. If I said 'veni, vidi, vici' to that lot, what would it sound like?"

"I'm not sure," the Doctor said with a frown. "You have to think of difficult questions, don't you?"

"Why don't you try it?" Rose asked, nodding at one of the street vendors.

"I think I will," she said, slipping her arm from Rose's and approaching the man hesitantly.

"Hello, sweetheart," the vendor said. "What can I get for you, my love?"

Donna glanced back at the other two, who smiled encouragingly. "Veni, vidi, vici."

"Huh?" the vendor asked, looking at her blankly. "Sorry? Me no speak Celtic. No can do, missy."

"Yeah," she said, drawing out the word before walking back to the Doctor and Rose. "What does he mean 'Celtic'?"

"Welsh," the Doctor said decisively, taking Rose's hand and sauntering away. "You sound Welsh. There we are. That's something."

"Won't our clothes look a bit odd?" Donna asked, trailing after them.

"Yeah, last time we changed," Rose said, then grinned. "You wore a toga."

"You liked my toga," he countered, arching a brow at her. "But really, we should be fine. Ancient Rome, anything goes. It's like Soho…but bigger. Although…Coliseum…Pantheon…Circus Maximus…" He trailed off, stopping and looking around with a frown. "You'd expect them to be looming by now. Where is everything? Try this way," he said after a moment, taking off down another street. Rose let out a squeak of surprise as she was hauled off behind him, and Donna rolled her eyes before following them. She stopped after a minute, however, frowning up at the mountain towering over the city.

"I'm not an expert," she called after the retreating couple, making them pause and look back at her. "But there are Seven Hills of Rome, aren't there? How come they've only got one?"

The Doctor and Rose stepped closer just as the ground started shaking beneath them. Around them, vendors dove for their stalls, trying to protect whatever merchandise they could. In front of them, smoke began wafting from the top of the mountain.

"Wait a minute!" Donna cried when the pandemonium died down. "One mountain…with smoke…which makes this…"

"Pompeii," Rose said, her voice laced with dread. "We're in Pompeii."

"And it's Volcano Day," the Doctor said, his face suddenly pale. He glanced around again for a second, his time sense unnervingly still. This moment, there were no multiple futures possible…only one. Pompeii was going to burn. Which meant they needed to leave as soon as possible. "Come on," he ground out, tugging on Donna's arm with the hand not holding Rose's, guiding them back the way they'd come to return to the TARDIS.

He ripped back the rough curtain—then stared in horror at the empty space behind it.

"You're kidding," Donna said. "Don't tell me the TARDIS is gone."

"Okay," he said, still staring.

"Where is it then?" she demanded.

"You told me not to tell you," the Doctor said.

"Don't get clever in Latin," said Donna sharply.

Rose made an annoyed noise and stepped away from both of them, toward the street vendor Donna had spoken to earlier.

"Hi, 'scuse me," she said, smiling brightly when he looked up at her. "Hi. Did you happen to see what happened to the big blue wooden box over there?"

"Sold it, didn't I?" the vendor said smugly, and Rose stared at him blankly as Donna and the Doctor stepped up behind her.

"But…what'd you do that for?" she asked. "It wasn't yours to sell!"

"It was on my patch, wasn't it?" said the vendor defensively. "I got 15 sesterce for it. Lovely jubbly."

"Who did you sell it to?" the Doctor asked.

"Old Caecilius," the vendor said. "Look…if you want to argue, why don't you take it up with him? He's on Foss Street. Big villa can't miss it."

"Thanks," he said, turning to leave, but he stopped when he saw Rose still standing stock still and glaring at the vendor, who was watching her uneasily. "Rose, c'mon."

"But he—"

"Yeah, I know, come on," he said, putting an arm around her waist and tugging her away. "We'll get her back," he murmured, then paused when a thought struck him. He jogged a few paces back to the vendor. "What did he buy a big, blue wooden box for?"

"Search me," the vendor said with a shrug. "Said something about 'modern art'. Wasn't gonna argue with him or his money, was I?"

The Doctor shook his head and returned to his companions, and they split up to look for Foss Street. The Doctor found it first, throwing a mental shout to Rose as he ran back to where they'd left Donna. He caught their companion going the other way just as Rose jogged up.

I've got it," he said, gesturing back the way he'd come. "Foss Street, this way!"

"No, I've found this big sort of amphitheater, I think," Donna said excitedly. "We can start there. We can get everyone together. Then maybe they've got a great, big bell or something we could ring. Have they invented bells yet?"

"What do you want a bell for?" the Doctor asked, confused.

"To warn everyone!" she said. "To start the evacuation! What time does Vesuvius erupt? When's it due?"

"It's 79 AD, 23 of August," he said, suddenly serious and urgent. "Which makes Volcano Day tomorrow."

"Plenty of time," Donna said. "We can get everyone out easy."

"Except we can't," Rose said, watching the Doctor. "Can we, Doctor?"

"But that's what you do," Donna said, glancing between them as the Doctor looked away. "You save people."

"But not this time," the Doctor explained. "Pompeii is a fixed point in history. What happens, happens. There is no stopping it."

He took her hand and tried to get her to move, but she refused to budge. "Says who?" she demanded.

"Says me," he replied tersely.

"What, and you're in charge?" Donna asked, annoyed.

"TARDIS, Time Lord…yeah," he said.

"Donna, human…no!" she snapped back. "I don't need your permission. I'll tell them myself."

"You stand in the marketplace and announce the end of the world, they'll just think you're a mad old soothsayer," the Doctor said, bringing his hands up in a mocking gesture to prove his point, and Donna's eyes flashed.

"Rose, what about you?" she asked suddenly, turning to the other woman. "What do you think?"

"Oh…Donna…" Rose said, looking between them and feeling trapped.

"Don't put her in the middle of this," the Doctor said.

"What, your wife can't have a say?" Donna asked archly.

"Stop it!" Rose shouted, and they both looked at her. "Now, look, Donna, I know you want to help, I know your heart is in the right place, but I've seen what can happen when you mess with fixed points, and it's not pretty. I'm sorry, I am, but the Doctor's right about this one...even if he could be a little _nicer_ about it," she added pointedly.

"Now then, see?" the Doctor said, nodding at Rose while completely ignoring her last statement, making her roll her eyes. "Come on. TARDIS, we are getting out of here."

"Well, I just might have something to say about that, spaceman!" Donna called after him as he stormed off.

"Oh, I bet you will!" he shouted back.

"I can't believe you just put up with him ordering you around like that," Donna said with a huff.

"No, it's not like that," Rose said defensively. "But you've gotta understand, there are times where he does know more about a situation, and sometimes that means painful choices."

"What, like letting a whole city burn while he runs off?" Donna asked hotly. "I don't think so."

Rose groaned as the other woman took off after the Doctor. She had a sudden pang of sympathy for Martha and the way she had dealt so stoically with being caught in the middle of their drama more than once. Rose ran after Donna, wondering how far her own diplomatic tendencies could stretch, given the apparent collective stubbornness of all three of them, and coming up unhappily short.


	7. Battle of the Soothsayers

_**I know, I know, I KNOW...this should have been updated forever ago. The other story and classes and life and stuff have...sort of gotten away from me. But at least there's this, yeah? Right. I'm gonna go hide now. Sorry again!**_

* * *

Rose caught up with Donna and the Doctor as they reached the house, just as the ground started shaking again. The Doctor darted inside, catching a bust as it began to topple.

"There you go," he said, righting it and patting it on the cheeks before stepping back.

"Thank you, kind sir," a man said gratefully as Rose and Donna joined him. "I'm afraid business is closed for the day. I'm expecting a visitor."

"Oh, that's me," the Doctor said, leaning forward to shake the man's hand. "I'm a visitor. Hello."

"Who are you?" the man asked, looking between the three of them as the Doctor led them into the great room, already occupied by a woman off to one side and a boy sitting at the edge of a pool.

"I am...Spartacus," the Doctor said slowly, drawing himself up proudly.

"And so am I," Donna said.

Rose glanced between them, then rolled her eyes. "What the hell, me too."

"Oh, Mister Spartacus and his...wives?" the man said uncertainly.

"Oh, no no no," the Doctor said quickly, all dignity gone in a flash as he drew Rose closer. "Just the one. _This_ one, specifically. Monogamy is tough enough, eh?" he added with a grin, one that began to fade under Rose's blistering gaze. "Eh? No? Right," he added, scratching at the back of his head while Rose rolled her eyes.

"Then this must be your sister," the man said, apparently in an effort to diffuse the situation. "Yes, of course. You look very much alike."

"Really?" the Doctor and Donna asked in unison, looking at each other.

"I'm sorry," the man said, apparently giving up on them entirely. "But I'm not open for trade."

"And what trade's that?" Rose asked.

"Marble," he said. "Lucius Caecilius. Mining, polishing and design thereof. If you want marble, I'm your man."

"That's good," the Doctor said, nodding as he glanced around. "That's good, 'cause I'm the marble inspector."

"By the gods of commerce, an inspection," the woman said, stepping forward as the Doctor held up his psychic paper and moved further into the room, his eyes darting around. "I'm sorry, sir. I do apologize for my son," she added, taking a wine glass from the boy and dumping the contents into the pool despite his protests.

"This is my good wife, Metella," Caecilius said, gesturing toward the woman. "I-I must confess, we're not prepared for a-"

"Nothing to worry about," the Doctor said. "I'm sure you've got nothing to hide. Although, frankly, _that_ object...rather looks like wood to me," he said, spotting the TARDIS and pointing at it.

"I told you to get rid of it!" he heard Metella hiss behind them as he made his way to the TARDIS, Rose and Donna close behind.

"I only bought it today," Caecilius protested.

"Ah, well," the Doctor said, shrugging. "Caveat emptor."

"Oh, you're Celtic," Caecilius commented with a sort of frozen grin. "That's lovely."

"I'm sure it's fine," the Doctor said, ignoring the jab Rose made in his side. "But I might have to take it off your hands for a proper inspection."

"Although," Donna said slowly. "While we're here, wouldn't you recommend a holiday, Spartacus?"

"I don't know what you mean, Spartacus," the Doctor said in a warning tone.

"Oh, this lovely family," Donna said, gesturing toward them. "Mother and father and son... Don't you think they should get out of town?"

"Why should we do that?" Caecilius asked, puzzled.

"Well, the volcano for starters," she said as the Doctor rubbed an eye, annoyed.

"What?" Caecilius asked.

"Volcano," she repeated.

"What-ano?" he asked, staring at her in bafflement. Rose tugged on the Doctor's arm and pointed to an altar to the side of them.

"That great big volcano right on your doorstep," Donna snapped, and the Doctor stepped in.

"Oh, Spartacus, for shame," he said, pulling her toward the shrine. "We haven't even greeted the household gods yet. They don't know what it is," he muttered as they moved away. "Vesuvius is just a mountain to them. The top hasn't blown off yet. The Romans haven't even got a word for volcano. Not until tomorrow."

"Oh great," Donna said. "They can learn a new word... when they die."

"Donna, stop it," the Doctor said.

"Listen, I don't know what sort of kids you've been flyin' around with in outer space, but you're not telling me to shut up."

"Oi!" Rose hissed. "No need to insult others because you're angry."

Donna made an exasperated sound, looking back at the family. "That boy...how old is he, sixteen? And tomorrow he burns to death."

"That's not our fault," Rose said.

"It is right now," Donna retorted. "If you're gonna just run-"

"Announcing Lucius Petrus Dextrus," a servant called loudly, interrupting her. "Chief Augur of the city government."

They turned-Donna with visible frustration-to see an older man striding in with an air of authority.

"Lucius, my pleasure as always," Caecilius said, stepping forward as the trio moved closer.

"Quintus, stand up," Metella snapped, and the boy rose with a long-suffering sigh.

"A rare and great honour, sir, for you to come to my house," Caecilius said, offering his hand to the other man, who gave him a withering glance.

"The birds are flying north," he said instead, in a pompous tone. "And the wind is in the west."

"Right," Caecilius said blankly, his smile becoming frozen. "Absolutely. That's good, is it?"

"Only the grain of wheat knows where it will grow," Lucius went on.

"There now, Metella, have you ever heard such wisdom?" Caecilius said, while Rose and Donna exchanged an eye roll.

"Never," Metella said, stepping forward with a bright smile. "It's an honour."

"Pardon me, sir, I have guests," Caecilius said, gesturing to the threesome, who waved. "This is...the ...Spartacuses? Sparta...ci?"

"A name is but a cloud upon a summer wind," Lucius said dismissively.

"But the wind is felt most keenly in the dark," the Doctor said.

"Ah! What is the dark other than an omen of the sun?" asked Lucius, stepping closer.

"I concede that every sun must set…" the Doctor said slowly, and Rose's eyebrows flew up as she turned to him.

"Ha!" Lucius burst out.

"...and yet the son of the father must also rise," the Doctor finished, gesturing at Quintus, while Rose and Donna exchanged another look, both biting back smirks.

"Damn," said Lucius. "Very clever, sir. Evidently a man of learning."

"Oh yes, but don't mind me," the Doctor said with a grin, shoving his hands in his pockets and rocking on his feet. "Don't want to disturb the status quo."

"Turning a new leaf?" Rose whispered, and the Doctor arched a brow at her with a small smile as Caecilius hurriedly explained that they were Celtic.

"We'll be off, then," the Doctor said, his hands on Donna's shoulders as he guided her to the TARDIS, Rose trailing behind them.

"I'm not going," Donna said as the others attended to whatever business had brought Lucius to Caecilius' home in the first place.

"You've got to," said the Doctor, his voice low.

"Well I'm not," she said, looking mutinous.

"The moment of revelation," Caecilius said behind them, and Rose glanced back as a piece of marble was unveiled. Her mouth dropped open, and she darted over to the Doctor.

"Doctor," she said quietly, interrupting his argument with their companion with a tug on his sleeve, still staring at the marble carving.

"Exactly as you specified," Caecilius went on as the Doctor followed her gaze, his gait halting and his hands dropping. "It pleases you, sir?"

"As the rain pleases the soil," Lucius said, looking over the carving.

"Oh now that's...different," the Doctor said slowly as they stepped nearer again. "Who designed that then?"

"My lord Lucius was very specific," Caecilius said, confused.

"Where'd you get the pattern?" the Doctor asked.

"On the rain and mist and wind," Lucius said pompously, and Rose rolled her eyes while the Doctor made a snarky face.

"Well, that looks like a circuit," remarked Donna.

"Except made of stone," Rose said, her brows furrowing. "Hold on, do you mean that just...came to you? No one...dunno...strange showed up with it?"

"I do not need other men to give me visions of greatness," Lucius sneered, barely glancing at her. "I am the City Augur, this is my calling."

"What's that then, like the mayor?" Donna asked.

"Oh, ah, you must excuse my friend," the Doctor said quickly. "She's from...Barcelona." He turned, speaking to both women quietly. "This is an age of superstition...of official superstition. The augur is paid by the city to tell the future. 'The wind will blow from the west.' That's the equivalent of the 10:00 news."

"That's ridiculous," Rose said with a snort.

"Yeah," he agreed. "But then so's the psychic network, and it never stopped your mum."

"Oi!" she laughed, slapping at his arm.

"They're laughing at us," a girl said from the entrance of the room, and the Doctor spun around. "Those three, they use words like tricksters. They're mocking us."

"No, no," the Doctor was quick to assure her. "I meant no offence."

"I'm sorry," Metella said, walking over to the pale, fragile looking girl. "My daughter's been consuming the vapours."

"By the gods, Mother!" Quintus burst out, staring at his sister. "What have you been doing to her?"

"Not now, Quintus," Caecilius muttered.

"But she's sick," Quintus insisted. "Just look at her."

Lucius ignored all of this, a calculating look on his face. "I gather I have a rival in this household. Another with the gift."

"Oh, she's been promised to the Sybiline Sisterhood," Metella said, holding up the girl's hand proudly to display the eye painted on it. "They say she has remarkable visions."

"The prophecies of women are limited and dull," Lucius scoffed. "Only the men folk have the capacity for true perception."

"I'll tell you where the wind's blowing right now, mate," Donna said, rolling her eyes. Rose smirked, then grabbed at the Doctor's arm as the ground quaked again beneath them.

"The mountain god marks your words," Lucius said. "I'd be careful if I were you."

"Maybe the 'mountain god' was agreeing with her," Rose snapped. "Ever think of that?"

Lucius made a disgusted face, but otherwise didn't respond.

"Consuming the vapours, you say?" the Doctor asked, letting go of his wife and turning back to Metella and her daughter.

"They give me strength," the girl said weakly.

"It doesn't look like it to me," he said, looking her over in concern.

"Is that your opinion...as a doctor?" the girl asked slowly, and he stiffened, eyes widening.

"I beg your pardon?" he asked, stunned.

"Doctor," she repeated. "That's your name."

"How did you know that?" asked the Doctor, bewildered.

"And you," she said, nodding at Donna. "You call yourself noble," she continued, as the ground once again started shaking. They looked around as the light in the room darkened, casting an eerie red glow. "And the Doctor's wife...the wolf in disguise."

"Now then Evelina," Metella said as the Doctor glanced back at Rose. "Don't be rude."

"No, no, no," the Doctor said, turning back to them thoughtfully. "Let her talk."

"You come from so far away," Evelina went on dreamily.

"A female soothsayer is inclined to invent all sorts of vagaries," Lucius said dismissively.

"Oh, not this time, Lucius," the Doctor said, still staring at Evelina. "I reckon you've been out-soothsaid."

"Is that so?" Lucius asked. "Man from Gallifrey?

"What?" the Doctor demanded, all three spinning to face the older man.

"Strangest of images," the augar said. "Your home is lost in fire, is it not?"

"Doctor, what are they doing?" Donna asked in worried tone.

"And you, daughter of... London," Lucius said slowly, his gaze flicking over her before moving on to Rose. "And you...the Bad Wolf. You're something new. Daughter of man, but wielding the power of a goddess."

"Doctor, how're they doing that?" Rose asked as the Doctor turned to her. "How's he know all that?"

The Doctor only shook his head, confusion and concern etched on his brow. This was not how things were supposed to happen in Pompeii.

"This is the gift of Pompeii," Lucius answered instead, and the Doctor turned again, glancing between the two fortune tellers. "Every single oracle tells the truth."

"But that's impossible," Donna said, shaking her head.

"Doctor, he is returning," the augar went on.

"Who is?" the Doctor asked, frown deepening. "Who's he?"

"Beware, Daughter of London," Lucius said, his eyes once again travelling to Donna. "The woman in black will come for you."

Donna went pale and her eyes widened in fear. "What's that mean?"

"And you...Bad Wolf," Lucius said with a sneer. "There is something on your back."

"What?" Rose asked. "What d'you _mean_? What use is an oracle that always tells the truth if it doesn't _mean_ anything?"

"Shh sh sh," the Doctor murmured, reaching back and wrapping a hand around her wrist for comfort-though for hers or for his, he wasn't entirely sure. Everything about this situation was nagging at him...a fixed point in time that wasn't acting at all the way it should grated at him with its sheer impossibility...nevermind his usual discomfort at people knowing too much about him or his wife.

"Even the word 'Doctor' is false," Evelina broke into his thoughts, and he watched her cautiously. "Your real name is hidden. It burns in the stars of the cascade of Medusa herself. You are a lord, sir. A lord...of time…"

With that, the girl fell away into a dead faint, the room returning to normal as the Doctor flew to her side.

oOoOo

"He said Bad Wolf," Rose said, chewing on a nail. "Bad Wolf only gets mentioned when something bad is coming."

They stood alone in a corner of the great room, Caecilius having walked Lucius to the door while Donna went with Metella to look after Evelina. Quintus had merely wandered off.

"That's not altogether true," the Doctor said, running his hands up and down her arms. "Seems to be a name getting around about you. The Family called you that too, remember?"

"Oh, yeah, nothing bad happened then," she snapped, rolling her eyes.

"Okay, bad example," he allowed. "But honestly, I'm sure it's nothing."

"No, you're not," she said, her eyes narrowing.

"Of course I'm not, when am I ever?" he asked, rolling his eyes. "But until we have a reason to panic, I'm going to try not panicking for a while, alright?"

"What about Donna's black lady?" she asked. "And...what about…"

"Rose," he said softly, dropping his hands to her waist to draw her closer before running a hand up her spine, making her shiver. "If there was anything on your back, I'd know. And if we see a lady in black, we can ask her what the hell she wants with our Donna. 'Til then...don't worry. Alright?"

Rose sighed, leaning into his chest as he wrapped his arms more firmly around her. "Alright. Something's still wrong though, isn't it? That's why we're still here?"

"Yeah," he said softly. "Age of official superstition, alright...that's known, that's common. But this...this is impossible. Something is definitely going on here."

"Not as fixed as you thought?" she asked, looking up at him.

"No...it's still fixed," he said, his eyes narrowing as he glanced around. "It's just also wrong. And those two things shouldn't exist at the same time. Hang on."

He let her go to move across the room just as Caecilius came back, Rose following in his wake.

"Different sort of hypocaust," the Doctor commented, opening the cover of it after a glance at Caecilius.

"Oh yes, we're very advanced in Pompeii," Caecilius said proudly. "In Rome, they're still using the old wood-burning furnaces, but we've got hot springs... leading from Vesuvius itself."

"Where'd you get the idea for that?" Rose asked as the Doctor leaned over, examining it.

"The soothsayers after the great earthquake seventeen years ago," Caecilius explained. "An awful lot of damage but we rebuilt."

"Didn't you think of moving away?" the Doctor asked. "Oh, no, then again, San Francisco."

"That's a new restaurant in Naples, isn't it?" Caecilius said, confused.

Before either of them could respond, a low rumble came from deep inside hypocaust, and the Doctor and Rose both peered into it, straight down into the Earth.

"What's that noise?" the Doctor asked.

"Don't know," Caecilius said with a shrug. "Happens all the time. They say the gods of the Underworld are stirring."

"But after the earthquake...let me guess," the Doctor said. "Is that when the soothsayers started making sense?"

"Oh yes, very much so," Caecilius said, nodding. "I mean, they'd always been... shall we say 'imprecise'? But then... the soothsayers, the augurs, the haruspex-all of them, they saw the truth again and again. It's quite amazing. They can predict crops and rainfall with absolute precision."

"Have they said anything about tomorrow?" Rose asked curiously, ignoring the look the Doctor shot her.

"No," Caecilius said, shaking his head. "Why should they? Why do you ask?"

"No reason," she said, sharing a look with the Doctor. "Just...asking."

"But the soothsayers," the Doctor said, bringing the subject back around. "They all consume the vapours?"

Caecilius nodded. "That's how they see."

"Ipso facto…" the Doctor said, slipping on his glasses before reaching into the hypocaust, despite Caecilius' protests. "They're all consuming this," he continued, pinching a bit of rock particles between his fingers.

"Dust?" Caecilius asked, confused.

"Tiny particles of rock," the Doctor said, tilting his head and sprinkling them a little before tasting it, to Rose's groaning chagrin. "They're breathing in Vesuvius."


End file.
